


Perilous

by rudbeckia



Series: Random Worlds [21]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 20:06:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Ren and Hux try to get intimate on Hux’s new sofa.(Follows on from the previous fic in the series)





	Perilous

Ren poked the new sofa and it squeaked, rocked back and gently oscillated. Hux sighed. “Mitaka pumped it as hard as he could get it.” 

Ren wobbled the new sofa again. “Hmm, indeed. I see it is almost as inflated as your ego.”

“Yes, well,” Hux rolled his eyes. “At least it is less massive than your sense of self-importance. We use up almost half our fuel manoeuvring against the inertia of your ideals.”

Ren reversed carefully, held his cloak aside and sat. The inflated plastic squeaked and groaned, _pop-pop-pop_ noises coming from wherever the frictional force of plastic against plastic built up and released suddenly like some kind of tectonic shift. The sofa canted perilously to the side and Hux quickly seated himself as a counterweight and wriggled around to get comfortable. 

“There! It’s quite acceptable, for the price.” Hux smiled at Ren. Ren frowned and screeched his fingers across the ice-blue, slightly tacky surface.  
“How many of these did you order?”  
“A thousand. One for each officer and a few spare for,” eyebrow raised, Hux stared at Ren, “mishaps. And one for you. Mitaka is installing it as we speak.”  
_”What?”_  
“Yes! I couldn't leave you out just because you’re not, strictly, an _officer_ could I?”  
“Do you mean,” Ren asked, voice leaden, “that when I wish to meditate in the presence of the relic of my sith-lord grandfather, I have to do so whilst sitting on _this_ monstrosity?”  
“Well, yes!” replied Hux, beaming. “It will do you good to be comfortable. I’ve seen the bruises on your knees from your usual position.”  
Ren pouted at Hux. “I did not get those bruises from _meditation,_ as you well know. You need a thicker rug.”

With a smirk, Hux pulled Ren closer, negotiating with wordless pushes and pulls and shifts in his seat for Ren to lie with his head in Hux’s lap and his knees over the arm of the new ice-blue sofa. He stroked Ren’s face and kissed him lightly, slipping a hand down to unfasten Ren’s belt. Ren laughed.  
“Ready to test your new sofa already?”  
“Mmhmm,” replied Hux. “You just lie right there.”  
Clothes catching on the plastic, Hux slid out from under Ren and walked over to the desk. As his fingers neared the metal drawer handle, a faint yet sharply audible _click!_ came from it and Hux swore. “Sithdamnit! I hate static electricity!” 

Ren called him an idiot. Hux walked back, put down the lube and undressed where he stood. Ren watched from the sofa, pulling himself upright then reclining on one elbow to get a better view as Hux folded his uniform and carefully laid it on a chair. He glanced at Ren.  
“I hope you don’t expect me to do everything for you, Kylo. If you’re still fully clothed by the time I’m done, you will have the honour of watching me pleasure myself whilst ignoring you.”  
Ren wriggled out of his clothes as quickly as he could manage without getting up from the sofa. Hair fluffing up and sticking to the blue plastic, he lay along its length, casually stroked himself hard then clasped his hands behind his head and wriggled his hips. Hux giggled.

“Lie still. You look ridiculous.”  
Ren beamed at Hux. “But I’m making it dance for you!”  
“You’re an idiot.” Hux knelt on the rug. “I want it in my mouth. Hold still.”  
Hux leaned forward and opened his mouth. Another crisp _click_ was followed by Hux jerking his head back and cursing while Ren doubled up with both hands over his groin.  
“Sithdamnit! That was my _tooth!_ I _hate_ static electricity!”  
“Fuck your tooth! You gave my _dick_ an electric shock!”  
Hux sat back on his heels. He tentatively reached his hand out and laid it on Ren’s knee, then when nothing happened he clambered up onto the wobbly, squeaky sofa and smiled.  
“Can I kiss it better?”


End file.
